Your Head is Running Wild Again (We Still Have Everything)
by ihearttvsnark
Summary: Tumblr Prompt: Emma and Killian are in Granny's alone after it's closed - he's trying to be there for her when she's feeling particularly guilty about Regina and Marian.


Your Head is Running Wild Again (We Still Have Everything)

At first, she's too stunned to do anything other than stand there once Regina finishes scolding her. _She's just an innocent woman_ plays like a mantra inside her head, but Emma doesn't dare say the words again. She knows they won't do any good, not when Regina is glaring at her like she'd reached into her chest and yanked out her heart. Given the way Robin and Roland are both clinging to the woman – _Marian_ – it's possible that's exactly what Emma has done.

The diner grows quieter as people stop talking and drinking and celebrating to watch the reunion in front of them. Emma sees her parents exchanging looks, glancing between her and Regina and Marian, recognition in their eyes as well as Ruby's. She imagines they're all recalling seeing Marian when they'd been together in the Enchanted Forest. _She's just an innocent woman_, Emma wants to shout, but that's not going to take away the raw pain in Regina's eyes.

Emma's chest grows tight, guilt and stubbornness fighting for control as her head reminds her that she had no choice, even as her heart aches because the last thing she wanted to do was hurt anyone. Suddenly, the diner feels much too small, the air heavy and the familiar urge to run creeps up on her so fast that she nearly takes a step forward before she catches herself. She's not going to run anymore – she _can't_. This is her home and her family and there has to be a way to fix this.

Regina sends another glare in her direction before turning on her heel and marching toward the door, slipping out into the night while everyone is distracted. _She's just an innocent woman_, Emma thinks to herself as she tries to remember how to breathe normally as the little voice in her head points out just how close the door is and no one will notice if she runs. Maybe just one more time…

Her mind doesn't have a chance to complete the thought because suddenly Killian's hand is on her shoulder, his quiet voice asking her if she's all right. Emma doesn't hesitate to place her hand over his, gripping it like a lifeline. She's afraid to look at him because she knows she'll see the quiet understanding in his eyes and then _she_ might start crying and that's not what this night is supposed to be about. Emma pushes down her emotions for now, but she keeps Killian's hand in hers as they step forward and officially meet Marian and she thanks them profusely.

The next hour or so is a blur of typical Storybrooke chaos. Everyone has questions and Emma answers them the best she can. Henry pulls her aside and says that he wants to go check on Regina, but Emma doesn't think that's a good idea, at least not until the morning. Snow agrees and manages to distract Henry with the suggestion that he come back to the loft with them and the baby for the night. Emma is invited as well, but she declines, wanting to help Ruby and Granny with the cleanup instead.

She likes the busywork – taking down the decorations and washing the dishes and scrubbing the tables. Emma puts all of her focus into the tasks in front of her, ignoring the emotions that are clamoring for her attention. She concentrates on getting a water ring off the table, following the circular pattern with the rag in her hand until the surface is gleaming. Emma runs the rag across it one more time for good measure and moves to the next table, only to see that it's already clean.

"Do you have a mop handy?" Emma turns toward the counter, expecting to see Granny or Ruby, but finds only Killian. She glances around, realizing they are the only two left in the diner and most of the lights have been turned off aside from the one over the counter. He gives her a knowing look and tilts his head in the direction of the table that she's just finished cleaning.

Emma takes a seat in the booth and Killian joins her, setting down a mug of hot chocolate with cinnamon in front of her before sliding into the booth. She's reminded of the night she'd been showing off her magic and he'd been sulking because of Zelena's curse. She hadn't known why at the time, but she'd wanted to cheer him up and she knows that's what he's doing now and in spite of everything, she smiles and takes a small sip of the hot chocolate.

"You had no way of knowing this would happen, love."

"That's not true," Emma replies. She takes another sip of the hot chocolate, which isn't all that hot and she wonders how long he'd been patiently waiting for her to notice him. If that wasn't the story of their relationship, she didn't know what was and oh god, did she just think of it as a relationship? Now was not the time to have a panic attack over a label, she mentally scolds herself.

He's watching her with that familiar understanding in his eyes, the one she'd been trying to avoid earlier when she'd wanted to wallow in her guilt. Maybe she still does, but Emma knew she can't shut him out, not now, not after everything he'd done for her and her family. "You warned me," she reminds him. "You warned me and I didn't listen."

"It was still the right thing to do," Killian replies. "We were not privy to her identity and even if we had been, would that have changed your mind?"

"No," Emma admits. Even if she had known that Marian was Robin's wife, she wouldn't have left her to die in that cell. Her only crime had been helping Snow and Regina had been completely blinded by vengeance and hatred back then. No one deserved the fate Marian would have been dealt.

Killian leans forward and takes her hand, keeping his eyes on hers as he brings it to his lips and kisses it gently. "Stop tormenting yourself," he says firmly. "We did what we needed to in order to preserve the past and the queen will understand that once things settle. In the meantime, perhaps we should both avoid apples." He raises an eyebrow.

She can't help the giggle that escapes her lips and the smile he sends her way makes her chest tight in the _best_ possible way and her mind drifts to the kisses they'd shared earlier on the patio. Emma realizes that she's been so caught up in the guilt and regret of the evening that she let herself forget the good stuff and it had been _so_ good. "No apples," she agrees.

He's still holding her hand and Emma brushes her thumb against his and she can't help thinking how lucky she is because she has Killian and she has Henry and her parents and her baby brother and everyone else in this town that matters to her. "I thought about running again." She doesn't think, just blurts the words out, her gaze dropping to their hands on the table because she can't bear the thought of seeing a hurt look in his eyes after everything that's happened.

"It was just a quick thought," Emma continues, speaking quickly before he can say anything. "It's just habit for me to run away and it's the last thing I want and I just…I'm sorry." Fresh shame washes over her and she wonders if she'll ever be able to go a day without hurting the people who matter most to her with her endless emotional baggage.

"Emma." His voice is soft, but there's clearly a command in the way he says her name. She lifts her gaze to meet his, but doesn't see the familiar hurt look that she was expecting. Instead, there's more understanding and surprisingly, a hint of amusement. She sends him a confused look and he just smiles. "There's no need to apologize for an action that you chose not to take. Don't be so hard on yourself, love."

She doesn't know what to say to that so she doesn't say anything at all. Instead, she gets up and moves around the table to slide into the booth beside him. He turns toward her and lowers his head, his lips brushing sweetly against hers. Emma slips her fingers into his hair and kisses him again, deepening it slowly as she feels his hook pressing into the small of her back, his other hand tangling in her hair.

The kiss breaks and she smiles when he rests his forehead against hers, his fingers still gently stroking her hair. He's not even a little angry at her for her lapse and she feels fresh warmth encircling her heart and she lets go of the tension, pushing it to the back of her mind for another time and another place. Emma wraps her fingers around the charm on his necklace and tugs him closer, their lips meeting once more.


End file.
